there is no such thing as valentime’s day

12 Feb

my poo cookies from valentine’s day a few years ago. such ambitions for these! the plan was to bake them, put them in brown paper bags, and leave them on the doorsteps of my friends. the actual baked product did not turn out as poo-ish as i would have liked, though, so i did not get to share my twisted sense of humor with anybody i love. most of the people i love are already fully aware of my sickness, anyway.

this year, i thought i’d try something nice and sweet, if only for the sake (and sanity) of my mother. and her friend, who is kind of like another mom. and i thought maybe some other crafty people would like to make something nice and sweet, as well. it does go over awfully well on february 14th.

first, let me apologize for the quality of the pictures – it was late and shadowy and i was distracted by the snow falling outside (read: i didn’t really care because it was snowing outside).

paper. you need it for this. specifically, you need:

  • 1 – scrap piece of card stock, measuring at least 4.5″ x 4.5″
  • 2 – 1.5″ squares, cut in half diagonally, in pattern/color ‘a’
  • 1 – .5″ square in white or cream
  • 1 – .5″ square in pattern/color ‘b’
  • 1 – 1″ x .5″ rectangle in pattern/color ‘b’
  • 1 – 1″ x .5″ rectangle in pattern/color ‘c’
  • 2 – 1.5″ x .5″ rectangle in pattern/color ‘c’
  • 1 – 2″ x .5″ rectangle in pattern/color ‘c’
  • 2 – 4.25″ x 5.5″ rectangle in color ‘d’

you will also need a pair of scissors, a 2-way glue pen (or any permanent adhesive), a seam ripper, a sewing machine, and coordinating thread.

1. begin by adhering the white square to the middle of the scrap card stock. glue the pattern/color ‘b’ .5″ square next to the white square and, using a straight stitch, stitch along the middle of two squares.

2. cut the thread and turn the paper over.

3. use the seam ripper to carefully pull the top thread through to the back. there should be four threads, two at each end of the line of stitches.

4. knot the threads and carefully trim the excess.

5. glue the 1″ x .5″ pattern/color ‘a’ rectangle down, forming a square. the two pattern/color ‘b’ pieces form a heart. there’s your love. stitch down the center of the square and, following the directions above, pull through the threads, knot, and trim. you will do this after each piece is sewn on.

6. glue down the 1″ x .5″ pattern/color ‘c’ piece as shown and repeat steps 1-4.

7. glue down one of the 1.5″ x .5″ pattern/color ‘c’ rectangles and repeat steps 1-4.

8. glue down the second 1.5″ x .5″ pattern/color ‘c’ rectangle and repeat steps 1-4.

9. glue down the 2″ x .5″ pattern/color ‘c’ rectangle as shown above. repeat steps 1-4.

the back of your scrap paper should look something like this.

10. glue the four pattern/color ‘a’ pieces as shown above, being careful keep patterns aligned, if applicable. begin stitching.

when you get to the first corner, keep the needle down, lift the foot, and move the paper 90 degrees. put the foot down again and continue stitching. do this for all the corners. when you are finished, repeat steps 1-4.

11. using sharp scissors, trim the pieced square as shown above. your square should be approximately 3″ x 3″.

12. glue the pieced square on one of the 4.25″ x 5.5″ rectangles of color ‘d.’ (obviously, i did not cut this before i took the picture. durr.)

13. change the stitch to a zig-zag stitch (number 2 on this machine).

14. stitch around the edge of the pieced square, keeping the needle down on corners (as in step 10). turn the paper over, pull the top strings through with a seam ripper, knot threads, and trim the excess.

15. using a scoring blade, score a line .25″ from the top of the paper. this score line will give the card some flexibility for opening.

16. place the scored card (with the pieced square) on top of the remaining blank, unscored 4.25″ x 5.5″ card stock. keeping the stitch as zig-zag, stitch along the score line. pull through top threads to the back, knot the threads, and trim the excess.

now you have a pieced heart quilt block card. did i mention that the inspiration for this card was quilt blocks? it is. i even have a nice punny sentiment for the inside.

if it’s for somebody you really love, you can write: the pieces of my heart belong to you. [valentine_1]

if it’s for somebody you love, but not in the significant other way, you can write: you are a piece of my heart. [valentine_2]

piece. pieces. get it? pieced quilt block? pieces of the heart? i kill myself.

yes, i even did the pdfs for you to download with the sentiment. if you want to print this on your card stock, do so before step 16.

and if you want something even better… make a matching envelope. i used the paper-source envelope template to make my matching envelope, so there’s no pattern i can post. but it wouldn’t be too hard to make a basic rectangle envelope. you could even sew one up by stitching along the edges of two pieces of card stock.

so, yeah. that’s enough sweet & nice for me for this year. you do know that my heart is genuinely snarky, yes?


One Response to “there is no such thing as valentime’s day”

  1. rikki February 12, 2010 at 8:20 am #

    oh meggie! you hold the pieces of my heart! i love this cutie little quilty card!

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